Back to the Bedroom…

I wrote an article pertaining to a study on sexual interest in long term relationships recently, and it may have left you wondering about some things. For instance, within the study there wasn’t any question of how satisfied individuals were, not having sex. Also, it didn’t address any possible communication points that may facilitate deeper satisfaction, sexually. So, this week, we go back to the bedroom, and another recent research study on sex, to add a little more insight into the topic. This time, the study concerns what men really want in the bedroom.

Survey Supports Different Conclusion of an Old Misconception

Men have a reputation for having all sorts of perverted sexual fantasies, however a new survey supports a very different conclusion. Most men prefer sensual and romantic forms of sexual behavior. In fact, the study found that men and women of all ages desire very similar bedroom behavior from their partners, with kissing and cuddling being rated above all other sexual acts. This research is paramount in showing that when you boil it down, we all just want to feel secure, and loved; we just want to be held and feel safe.

Most Desirable Sex Acts are as Follows…

The study did also address which sex acts were most desired. Masturbation and oral sex did make the list, but only under romance and affection in terms of importance. This contradicts many stereotypes about men’s sexual preferences and behaviors. Men wanted more kissing during sex, cuddling, sweet and romantic talk during sex, and wanted the room to feel romantic. When more than 30 sexual behaviors were surveyed in terms of appeal, wearing sexy lingerie, and sending/receiving nude images were rated high by the majority of participants.

Emotional Closeness Post-coital Rated Most Pleasurable

The findings are actually in line with past research that has supported that most individuals find the emotional closeness that follows sex more pleasurable than the moment of orgasm. Studies have shown that a more active and healthy sex life is associated with life satisfaction and happiness, but this only really happens when sex is followed by positive emotions, like those experienced through the cuddling and bonding of intimacy.


  1. Source: Herbenick D, Bowling J, Fu TC, Dodge B, Guerra-Reyes L, Sanders S. Sexual diversity in the United States: Results from a nationally representative probability sample of adult women and men. PLOS one. 2017
Image Copyright: <a href=’’>bialasiewicz / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

Node Smith, ND, is a naturopathic physician in Portland, OR and associate editor for NDNR. He has been instrumental in maintaining a firm connection to the philosophy and heritage of naturopathic medicine among the next generation of docs. He helped found the first multi-generational experiential retreat, which brings elders, alumni, and students together for a weekend camp-out where naturopathic medicine and medical philosophy are experienced in nature. Four years ago he helped found the non-profit, Association for Naturopathic ReVitalization (ANR), for which he serves as the board chairman. ANR has a mission to inspire health practitioners to embody the naturopathic principles through experiential education. Node also has a firm belief that the next era of naturopathic medicine will see a resurgence of in-patient facilities which use fasting, earthing, hydrotherapy and homeopathy to bring people back from chronic diseases of modern living; he is involved in numerous conversations and projects to bring about this vision.

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