(NaturalPath) According to a study out of the National University of Singapore, parents may have high expectations of their children’s academic performance and some may demonstrate this by urging the child to achieve good grades, while others may over-react when the child makes mistakes. However, parents should be mindful of their behavior and not push their children too far, as their actions may lead to unintended consequences. The researchers found that children with intrusive parents had a higher tendency to be overly critical of themselves and this tendency increased over the years. The five-year study extrapolated to say that these children who demonstrated high or increased level of self-criticalness also reported to have elevated depression or anxiety symptoms. A concept known as maladaptive perfectionism came to light in the study, which is commonly known as the ‘bad’ form of perfectionism.
“When parents become intrusive in their children’s lives, it may signal to the children that what they do is never good enough,” said one researcher. “As a result, the child may become afraid of making the slightest mistake and will blame himself or herself for not being ‘perfect’. Over time, such behavior, known as maladaptive perfectionism, may be detrimental to the child’s well-being as it increases the risk of the child developing symptoms of depression, anxiety and even suicide in very serious cases.”
The study was conducted over a five-year period and involved 263 children. The experiment had parents helping as much as they thought necessary as their child was solving a puzzle. The data showed that about 60 percent of them were classified as high and/or increasing in self-criticalness, while 78 percent of the children were classified as high in socially prescribed perfectionism.
As parents we want what’s best for our children; it’s an instinct and a responsibility. A desire to give our children the best start in life for a bright future may seem like the most important thing to do in a fast moving and ever changing global economy. Learning is an organic process, and includes overcoming failures. Failure also helps us to determine where our strengths lie and even what our calling may be. If we help our children to see mistakes as data we can use to not only improve, but reassess and reevaluate, perhaps we can take the pressure off them to be perfect. Its’ advice we should take of ourselves, as well. If a child is not balanced body/mind and spirit, then their academic achievements won’t take them very far.
Razi Berry, Founder and Publisher of Naturopathic Doctor News & Review (ndnr.com) and NaturalPath (thenatpath.com), has spent the last decade as a natural medicine advocate and marketing whiz. She has galvanized and supported the naturopathic community, bringing a higher quality of healthcare to millions of North Americans through her publications. A self-proclaimed health-food junkie and mother of two; she loves all things nature, is obsessed with organic gardening, growing fruit trees (not easy in Phoenix), laughing until she snorts, and homeschooling. She is a little bit crunchy and yes, that is her real name.