Nicola Dehlinger, ND
Coming back from a 30-day sabbatical, I am filled with new awareness, more vitality, and much more clarity about my life in general. I have a deeper sense of ease and feel more spaciousness in my day-to-day life.
Find it all in the pauses
My ever-present mind wants to know, “How are we going to maintain this? Not fall into the same pitfalls of disconnection from myself, from Nature, and busy-ness?”
And the answer simply came: find it all in the pauses. The Pause is what allows me to truly be present to this moment – whatever it is. The Pause is what calls me to embrace what is right in front of me – even when it feels difficult or messy. The Pause is what brings me back to my center which allows me to choose from my Knowing rather than reacting or accommodating everyone else. The Pause embraces the importance of slowing down and the importance of quiet reflection.
If someone asked you if you’d like more pauses in your day, I’d be surprised if you said “no”. Isn’t that we are all looking for – more spaciousness? More time? More ease? Through cultivating the Pause, we are granting ourselves unlimited access to just that.
Why do we avoid the Pause?
The answers are infinite…because we find value in being “productive” (we think that translates into worthiness). Because we think being busy is synonymous with being valuable. Because we don’t know what to do with ourselves if we aren’t “doing” something. Because we’re afraid of what we might discover about ourselves if we slow down.
So, we find all sorts of creative ways to distract ourselves! Social media is a great tool for distraction. Email, to-do lists, external commitments, cleaning, worrying, work – we just keep filling our plate to ensure that we receive the love we seek.
But here’s the thing – the love and approval and validation you seek does not come from outside of you. It can only come from you, for you and therefore for everyone. Sure, we might get a nice feeling about ourselves when we achieve a goal or offer an act of kindness but that is a temporary “fix” – it always leaves us looking for the next hit.
When that compassion, understanding and Love are cultivated from within you, there’s never a lack – there’s always an abundance. You won’t have to perform a certain way to get your needs met. You simply see yourself as you are, and welcome it (all of it, as is!) into your heart.
This week can you notice the places in your day when things seem to speed up?
Invite in the Pause – maybe that is 3 deep breaths or getting a glass of water or simply stopping what you’re doing for a moment and noticing what’s present within you. Your mind might tell you there’s “no time” to slow down – I invite you to question that truth. Or check out pausing anyway and just see what happens. A little curiosity goes a long way on this journey.
Here are some specific examples of things I’ve done to cultivate the Pause:
- Disconnect my emails from my phone (yep, that’s right. Now when I’m in line or waiting, I just sit).
- Starting my sessions with patients with 3 deeps breaths (I’m just starting to integrate this one!).
- Cultivating a morning breath and movement practice.
- I put a candle in my bathroom that I light every day in honor of me. When I blow it out, I look myself in the eyes and remind myself that I am loved and worthy.
- I changed my work schedule to create more spaciousness.
- I put my phone away when I’m with my son, partner, or friends.
- I engage less with social media and when I do, I set an intention before I open the app.
- I close down my email program unless I’m currently using it (those notifications can be so distracting and knocking out one more email can be so tempting to my sense of accomplishment!).
- Asking my body what she really wants before choosing what to eat.
Please, let me know what you’re calling into your world to cultivate the Pause. If you’re not already, join our Connectivity group on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/doctornicola and share your stories! I think creating like-minded community is an essential ingredient, especially when we’re creating new patterns.
Sending love and light
Dr Nicola Dehlinger, ND, graduated from SCNM in 2004. Dr Nicola sees clients from around the world in her naturopathic medical practice, Pura Vida Natural Healthcare, in Durango, CO. She is an expert in the treatment of anxiety, depression, and insomnia. She is able to minimize supplements and medications as her patients become empowered to heal themselves. In addition to seeing clients, Dr Nicola leads group and private retreats. She also teaches a variety of online and in-person classes. In her free time, you can find Dr Nicola in the mountains or the kitchen, enjoying time with her husband, son, and their dogs. Website: www.puravidahealthcare.com